Less Arguing, Please, and More Stories
I think our world would be better off if we spent less time arguing and more time telling stories.
Sharing the ins and outs of what has happened to us is a relational act. When we relate to another our own stories, we do more than recount events or make a point. We usually are trying to establish a connection with another. We are inviting someone to not only see what we’ve seen but also in some sense enter our little worlds. That can be an act of generosity. At the least it can be a way to further another’s understanding of what makes us tick, what has made us.
And when we hear a story, another’s account, we see something we might not have otherwise—especially about the person telling it. We have a chance to enter a conversation about joy and pain, birth and death, loneliness and intimacy and innocence—aspects that may drive our reactions more than we realize.We offer (or receive) insight about the big things that haunt us and the little things that annoy us and the hopeful turns that keep us going.
And in my writing, I don’t want to tell only the polished discoveries, only the end points, not without relating some of the wrestling it took to get me there. I try to shy away from stories of the tidy or moralistic kind. Instead, a good story will take the reader along through the uncertain moments that will lead me—if only by steps and sometimes by struggle—to where I do not really know.